Womanist Musings & Support

The Problem with 'Self-Care'

September 29, 2019

Let me first clarify that I do not have an issue with the practice of self-care. However it has come to my attention that we overuse the term "self-care" in our conversation, in social media and elsewhere. Although there are very specific definitions of self-care it has gotten a rather trendy reputation where the focus is "treating ourselves". Treating yourself is not fully embracing the practice of self-care. But please by all means treat yourself to an expensive coffee or deep tissue massage occasionally. Keep in mind you do NOT have to justify being nice to yourself by saying,

"I did some self-care and went to get a mani/pedi".

I've also noticed that mainstreamed self-care efforts tend to be physical such as getting massages, taking a trip to the salon, having a spa day and the like.  Self-care is not only physical but it is psychological (mental/emotional), social and financial! 

Enrich Life Coaching, LLC., yours truly, has decided to adopt some differentiating terminology. I prefer the term wellness initiative.

What initiative are you taking to ensure you are not overwhelmed/burnt out?

Is my friend circle nourishing?

What initiative are you taking to ensure you have not engaged in overspending?  

Is my job working for me?

What initiatives have you taken to stop overeating?

Although I will still use the term "self-care" from time to time my intention is to totally help you create a wellness initiative with being very mindful about your actions, plans and decisions. This is your time and your season to heal and rebuild! Which does require ACTION not an miraculous occurrence. 

So what are you waiting for?! 

Jump in the driver's seat and take the winding road to improve your wellness!

Rewire Your Brain

August 26th, 2019

This may sound a bit bizarre but you are totally capable to "rewiring" your brain. Of course this is not the same process like rewiring a circuit in your home or your car but it has similar positive results! Clearly when you are rewiring something it is in efforts for it to work better, more smoothly or maybe it's being re-purposed! 

Rewiring your brain is pretty simple but the hardest part is sticking to the routine and creating a new habit. The manner in which we live today creates a hyper-awareness of problems, issues and criticisms. We are always looking for the thing that does not belong or we are over-analyzing, critiquing and judging.  All of these left brain activities creates imbalance. We then become prone to overuse of logic, overthinking, problem solving, hypervigiliance, thought distortions, mental filtering and the list goes on! 

That said, would you like to change your brain to focus on what is RIGHT instead of what is wrong? Would you like to train your brain to focus on the positives? Would you like to emphasize what you love about life and truly be happy?

A recent brain imaging study revealed the more gratitude we express the more happy we become due to new neural pathways. So the more you express and feel gratitude the more your brain responds making these pathways stronger and stronger. The more you practice gratitude the more you are attuned to being grateful and thoughtful of what you do have instead of what you do not have.

For the next 30 days, write down 3 to 5 things you are grateful for prior to going to bed. On the 31st day observe your level of gratitude, happiness, and positivity. Do you fee lighter? Do you feel relaxed? Will you continue onto 60 days? 90 days? or forever! 

Give it a try! Let me know how it goes. 

On Becoming Mom

August 15, 2019

Unexpected, unplanned and welcomed is what you are! 

I knew I wanted you before I met you,

But I was not sure when the time would ever be right.

They say there is no preparation that will prepare you.

However I wanted to still be prepared although I knew they were preaching truth. 

Unexpected, unplanned and welcomed is what you are!

We cannot wait to see you.

We cannot wait to hold you and smell you.

We cannot wait to press our lips against your soft cheeks.

We knew we wanted you before we met you,

but we did not know the day or hour.

Unexpected, unplanned and welcomed is what you are!

I was so grateful to hear your first heart beat.

I am forever grateful to have felt your first kick.

Thank you for choosing me to be your mom.

Thank you for choosing me to be your guide.

Thank you for choosing me to be the protector, guardian and first love! 

-Tamieka S. Caldwell

The Power of Femininity

July 29, 2019

Good day friends! I know the majority of my readers are female and I have a special newsletter for you today. This has been placed on my heart and it is now time to deliver.

We have gotten to a place in our American culture where true displays of femininity are shamed or perverted. As women, we are by design inherently different from the man. Yet we tend to want to be "masculine women" as evidence by pursuits of goals, dreams and ambitions that are much like the masculine mainstream culture.

How did we get here? How is it wrong or inappropriate to be a nurturing mom that does not enter the workforce? Why are we wrong for verbalizing emotions and openly expressing our feelings?

Outwardly, we say it's OK yet we pass judgment.There is more pressure on females to pursue careers and multitask the care-giving responsibilities, yet the masculine counterpart is not encouraged by society to multitask in the same way. Sounds like a double standard to me!

What if we embraced the God-given power of our femininity and became more intuitive?

What if our true divinity rests in our femininity?

What if afflictions and disorders of the reproductive system is the result of denying and suppressing the womanly virtues?

That said, how do we celebrate, honor and embrace the power of our femininity? How do we release resentment and bitterness of our femininity that society has instilled before we were even conceived? How do we function as mothers, partners, spouses, doctors, journalists, mechanics and earthly nurturers and maintain 100% of our feminine power? I say we embrace and nurture our womanhood and take back what has been shamed, perverted and disgraced!

Embracing (Healing) Your Femininity

Spend time in or around water outdoors or in the privacy of your home by bathing.

Express & celebrate your feminine strength in art, clothing, 

words, and actions.

Allow yourself the opportunity to express an emotional release. Never hold back how you truly feel or suppress emotion even if you 

merely write them down.

Journaling Prompts: What excites you? What is your idea of fun? What makes you radiate beauty? How do you radiate strength? 

What does it mean to be feminine?

Affirmations: I am beautiful and strong. The wonders of life flows through me! I radiate beauty and purity. My femininity is my strength.